Authentic Leadership
“The conversation we need to have is about resources. It’s about white folks in our community having access to a ton of them. And Black folks—historically, due to a system that’s stacked against them—not having any...I think that the mistake we’re making right now is to assume that our gestures or statements are enough. They’re not. Actually, in some ways, they make things worse. Because when you’re trying to dismantle a system of oppression but you focus on performative gestures—renaming buildings, tearing down statues, declaring solidarity on social networks and with company mission statements—you never actually talk about the root causes of why things are the way they are. We’re confusing the performative gesture for erasing the system. The system still exists...” ~Ryan Wilson, Here’s the single best way to help Black people, according to Ryan Wilson.
I was with Brother Barnes recently, sitting in his car, eating Chick-Fil-A, when he talked about bringing together his community in Far Rockaway. During our conversation, while I passed him the barbecue sauce for his nuggets, he nonchalantly said, “exposure leads to reach.” That statement hit my ears the same way another phrase did during my sophomore year in Professor Lembo’s class when a student raised his/her hand and commented, “everyone wants a North Face, but a different color.” Both phrases pierced me. They are simple, but symbolic of a basic understanding that gets complicated by the human stain, the perplexing topics of race, religion, sexuality, etc. The essence of each statement is the yearn for connection, but also uniqueness. Exposure is created by an experience that enables one to see more than what he/she is accustomed to, I tend to deduce it to people. Wanting a North Face (or you fill in the blank) is about connecting and existing amongst others in a unified essence—the nuance of color allows distinction. Remember, differentiation unifies.
The phrases are stored in my mental vault; they share real estate with a comment that Ryan Wilson made during a recent Breakfast Bites session. When talking about his perspective and his grind, in addition to a litany of other topics, Ryan stated, “it’s hard to become something you haven’t seen before.” Damn. I’ve thought about that every day since he uttered those words. It speaks to the importance of representation, of diversity, of trailblazing leaders and of brilliant artists, many of whom are only lauded years after their struggle. I want to ensure Ryan gets his roses while he can still smell them. To be clear, it’s not because he’s chasing accolades, but rather his authentic leadership comes ripe with mistakes, pettiness, and missteps, he’s human, yet he possesses immense integrity, thoughtfulness, and mission.
As I step into a new season in my life, Ryan’s commentary resonates. The new responsibilities will further enable me to make choices to be more or less of my-self. Whether it’s financially, socially, or relationally, this new season will be about using the skills I’ve acquired over my first nine years in the “real world” to produce, but more importantly, “[to] apply intention to the way [we] direct resources.” Again, I’ve long respected Ryan’s authentic leadership, his ability to be open, candid, and fact based, all rooted in a passion to help our people.
Recent talks have also illuminated how people tip toe around race conversations and feign ignorance. I even recently spoke on my girlfriend’s podcast about our relationship in a raw and intentional way, showing my own blind spots and weaknesses. The truth is scary. Yet, the truth, as James Baldwin once wrote is: “I’m not trying to accuse you, you know. That’s not the point. But you have a lot to face...All that can save you now is your confrontation with your own history...which is not your past, but your present. Nobody cares what happened in the past. One can’t afford to care what happened in the past. But your history has led you to this moment, and you can only begin to change yourself and save yourself by looking at what you are doing in the name of your history.” I read that excerpt in Eddie S. Glaude Jr.’s Begin Again, but it’s originally from Esquire’s July 1968 issue. It was published just after the death of Martin Luther King, Jr., when the magazine talked to James Baldwin about the state of race relations in the country. That was fifty-two years ago and we’re still having some of the same conversations today. I’m not hating, blaming, or judging, I’m simply observing because also as Ryan so deftly describes: “This system has been built so effectively that it actually doesn’t rely on individual actors to continue to operate it. That’s the brilliant move of racism over the last 100 years. It used to require overt action. But once you institutionalize racism, it’s like being on autopilot.”
So, while I don’t want my words to ramble on too long, I hope you, as readers of the MML, take a couple moments to read Ryan’s piece—he’s a brilliant leader. I encourage you to look in the mirror. I encourage you to seek others perspective. I encourage you to engage in a dialogue with others. I encourage you to do the work. I encourage you to be a part of the change. To me what we’re dealing with is far deeper than skin issues. This fight will be fought long after we’re gone, but that doesn’t absolve me of doing my part, or feeling like this is too steep an incline to climb. Not speaking up, like Ryan said during Breakfast Bites is a “dereliction of duty.” And for now, it’s about resources and capacity.
On Thursday, I was walking back to the desk with Tola, a coworker that I was hyped to finally meet in the flesh, we were talking about my new role. As we approached the elevator he commented, “me and Oki had a conversation after that dude Ryan spoke...” I just smiled. It took me back to Parker’s post on Impact—we won’t always see the direct fruits of our labor. But we need to acknowledge that this work is hard and it’s tough. As Ryan describes, “I don’t suggest that what I just said is easy, but if you are a person who says that you would like to engage, that’s what engaging is. It’s not tweeting out ‘Black Lives Matter.’ After you post your black square on Instagram, if you aren’t intentional about making sure that you participate differently in the system, if you aren’t making different decisions, building different relationships, then the system still will be there.”
Earlier this week, after a long day, my mom uttered a bible verse that I had heard before, but this time it just hit different: “I returned, and saw under the sun, that the race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, neither yet bread to the wise, nor yet riches to men of understanding, nor yet favour to men of skill; but time and chance happeneth to them all.” ~Ecclesiastes 9:11. Godspeed.
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Ryan Wilson is the CEO and Co-Founder of The Gathering Spot—A diverse community of thinkers, creatives and connectors driven to leave their mark on the world. Each gathering is curated to create conversation, provoke thought and disrupt the status quo. Designed to foster collaboration, our spot is a mashup of culture, innovation, and purpose. An assembly of influence harnessing the spirit of the salon. The ingenuity of college days. Every moment, a bridge to opportunity. An unfiltered experience. A circle of trust. A place that connects you to the past and requires your presence to impact the future. We gather to celebrate, learn, build and uplift. A modern-day movement. Or said another way, “This is one of the few places where you can be black and not wholly focused on solving the problem of figuring out how to be included.”
Note The pic above is of Ryan Wilson :).