Heroes and Tragedies

My dad is a big fan of F. Scott Fitzgerald and one quote from Fitzgerald that he often mentions is: “Show me a hero and I’ll write you a tragedy.” I interpreted Fitzgerald’s words as suggesting that “heroes'' can have tragic downfalls and that their heroism actually emphasized the tragedy. Although he wrote fiction, Fitzgerald was known to be a social commentator and provide deep insights into contemporary culture. One way to determine a writer’s greatness is to measure how accurately his/her insights then translate to current times. In this case, they calibrate very accurately…

Numerous heroes have unfortunately endured self-inflicted tragedies: Tiger Woods, OJ Simpson, Lance Armstrong, and Bill Clinton to name a few. Even the United States - the hero of all countries - has had an undercurrent of tragedy for centuries, which revealed itself on January 6th at the Capitol. Multiple times I heard, “How could this country go through that incident?” I have recently been thinking about two hero/tragedy stories that may not be as grand as others but are ones that I personally witnessed up close: Adam Neumann at WeWork and Carl Lentz at Hillsong. 

I worked at WeWork on their sales team from 2016-2019. Adam, its CEO, brought the company from nothing to a $44 billion juggernaut (maybe slightly overvalued…) that was changing the world and making positive headlines every day. He was a driven and charismatic visionary who had endless energy. He will probably be recognized as one of the greatest fundraisers in the history of the startup/tech world. WeWork was heading for the moon; one of the biggest IPOs was right around the corner. But in September 2019, the IPO, and the company to an extent, imploded. Much of the blame was attributed to Adam’s frivolous spending, toxic work environment, mismanagement, poor ethical business/personal decisions, and dubious behavior. He was eventually pushed out and his biggest advocate, Masayoshi Son, turned against him. He sadly was not the leader everyone believed.

I was a volunteer and member of Hillsong (after being introduced by my friend, Derek) from 2013-2017 and continued to attend sporadically throughout the past four years as well. One of the events that really shook me in 2020 was learning about Carl Lentz’s termination. Hillsong was a place where God changed my life: the people, the messages, the music, and the pastors - especially Carl - were all aspects I had never experienced; it was a welcomed change. I loved listening to Carl because, like Adam, he was charismatic, relatable, fun, inspiring, vulnerable, and would speak to your heart. He also had a great relationship with his wife and family too...or so it seemed. This past November, Sean unexpectedly sent me the email about his termination, and I was floored. The email was vague, but it sounded like he was unfaithful to his wife, which Carl himself then later confirmed. His boss, the global head pastor, described the reasoning more severely: “breaches of trust, leadership issues, and moral failures.” We later found out that Carl’s behavior was the tip of the iceberg—he was eventually pushed out. Another sad and unexpected ending that I witnessed up close.

Why do these tragedies occur? Some psychologists might say it’s self-sabotage or hubris, but that’s above my paygrade! I was listening to Leadership Lean In by Chad Veach and one topic he discussed was being more cognizant of who you are becoming rather than what you are trying to accomplish. In other words, who you are is more important than what you do. As I grappled with this, the stories of Adam, Carl, Tiger and others popped into my mind...maybe these heroes endured tragedies because they were too focused on accomplishing rather than becoming. I could assume that their desire to accomplish and put-up numbers blinded their view of reality and made them lose sight of the person they were transforming into. Don’t get me wrong, I too love to accomplish, it feels amazing to close a deal, finish a workout, cook a meal, win a game of Codenames, reach the mountaintop, etc. I believe accomplishing our goals is important, fulfills dreams, and builds character, but it’s also possible to get caught up and sacrifice who we are at our core to simply achieve; “For what shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul?”

I thought about several learnings from these incidents that may be helpful. Firstly, no one is perfect. I’m sure I was guilty of putting Adam and Carl on a pedestal and subconsciously thinking they were immune to failure. That is dangerous for me and for them. They are humans too, so having that perspective is important because it frees us from self-righteousness and being judgmental. 

Secondly, as my good friend James has told me, “the journey is the destination.” I believe that is so true. It is easy to get tempted into solely focusing on the trophy, the wedding day, the promotion, the new house, the ring, the degree, etc. Yet, that can be toxic if it is all we care about. It can rob us of joy. Perhaps if we focus more on the journey and who we are becoming rather than focusing solely on the destination, we will not lose sight of ourselves and have to endure self-inflicted tragedies.  

Thirdly, our legacy is so important. Legacy goes beyond what we get done - it's who we are holistically. When I look at other heroes who have not gone through these types of tragedies such as LeBron James, Russell Wilson, Stephen Curry, Tom Brady, Barack Obama, Peyton Manning, and Bill Gates, I realized that their legacy is not just cemented in their great and admirable accomplishments, but in who they are as fathers, husbands, friends, philanthropists, and contributors to society and the greater good. They are more than their platform. Combining points two and three: if we lean into the journey and give more weight to who we are becoming, that will further enhance what we accomplish and who we can ultimately impact and help. 

Finally, these tragedies do not have to be the end. Sean and I have heard countless Carl Lentz messages, but we talked about the fact that his fall from Hillsong could be his greatest sermon yet. I’ve learned that attraction (how you live) is more important than promotion (what you say). Carl's words have meant so much to me, Sean, and others, but his reaction to this setback can speak louder than anything he’s ever said on stage. In fact, Carl has said that, “a setback is an opportunity for a setup.” The beauty of grace and life is that redemption and hope are always available to anyone no matter what you’ve done or gone through. The tragedy does not have to be the final destination, but rather, a part of the journey. The tragedy can be something that we learn from and promotes growth; a catalyst for us to become better people so we can in turn help others.

When I look at Tiger Woods, I no longer simply see a tragedy. I see a great redemption story. Tiger owned his behavior, confronted the ugly truth, went through the process, won the 2019 Masters, and most importantly, had his mother and son waiting for him on the 18th green. His new life was just beginning, and I hope Adam and Carl can do the same.