New Beginnings
When MG first asked if I was going to write a blog post to accompany the new site, I was nervous. I’ve long loved curation rather than origination. Putting my own thoughts down, consistently…nah, that’s for my journal. And even that may sometimes be watered down just in case someone happened to pick it up one day; I don’t want them thinking that I’m too crazy. I don’t want everyone to know exactly what I’m thinking because then I open myself up to criticism. Then people can see my flaws. Then people can see that I’m broken. Then people can hate on me…But then I thought: Good.
I have an opportunity. Similar to what I describe in: From “Fish Out of Water” to Wall Street Changemaker, I hope the MML continues to be a lighthouse, a space that allows for introspection and growth. A site and newsletter that acts as a bridge, helping you get from your former self to your future self, at whatever pace you choose.
For so long I have reveled in being the man behind the scenes of the MML, simply wanting other’s words to permeate minds, sinking into the crevices of the brain where choice and behavior intersect. I’ve long known that you can’t change people, but you can be the catalyst as to why someone changes. Yet, he or she has to physically (or mentally) do the work themselves.
And that brings me to the current zeitgeist. The recent deaths of Ahmaud Arbery, George Floyd, Breonna Taylor, Rayshard Brooks, and many others have deeply troubled me. At times it’s been hard to focus on work, oscillating between feelings of helplessness, sadness, discomfort, anxiety and countless other emotions. But there the MML is, consistently helping me get through even that, not as a panacea, but rather something to get my mind off certain things, and into others. Something that challenges me to be better and take action instead of just thinking about it. Something that causes me to do the work.
Not to belie the gravity of those deaths, but the consistency of the MML brings me to what I love about people like The Rock, Dr. Eric Thomas, LeBron James, David Goggins, Steve Prefontaine, David Perell, Morgan Housel and others. They’re not selling you empty promises or long to do lists or flexing on Instagram (okay maybe a little), but their discipline, consistency, and approach to getting better is awe inspiring. You know why? Because it’s a choice. A choice, even when it’s not easy, fun, or the cool thing to do to show up, and not skimp on becoming the best versions of themselves. A choice to do the work.
Again, it’s staggering to think back to 2009 when I began the MML. So much has happened to me, so much has happened for me since then. The main constant: the bi-weekly cathartic curation of the MML. While I’ve rarely tracked subscribers—I wanted to get to 1k in 2019 (it aint happen), some of the responses I get remind me that it’s not about the quantity of subscribers, but the quality. Messages from Romy S, Cara S, Brittany B, Caroline H, Will C, Ina L and many others over the years have propelled me, not because I need it, but because like all humans I need connection. And while I may value, yearn, and appreciate them more than others, the need for community, or as Maxman described to me, tribe, is so important.
I stumbled upon this quote when I sat down to write this inaugural blog post for the MML website: “There’s no hack for getting fit. There’s no hack for building a community. There’s no hack for maintaining a meaningful relationship. All the best things in life require consistent effort over long periods of time.” ~Matthew Kobach. That about sums it up to me. We all want to do things faster; I’ve long appreciated doing things deeper. We all want microwaveable solutions; I tend to take longer to get up the curve (ask me about my registration exams or GRE experience). We all want maximum efficiency or the shortest route, I like getting lost sometimes. Maybe it’s the way in which I construct some of these events in my mind. Maybe it’s because I’m simply writing about them now in a safe, comfortable room with ample sunlight, but ask me later this evening and I’ll have a different answer…
So much of what makes us human is our shifting emotions, moods, and thoughts. So much of what’s to come from the MML is unknown. Yet, so much of what makes us better, in any endeavor we choose is the work. And while doing the work can sometimes be misconstrued as toxic masculinity given you can’t will your way through everything; I mean doing the work on yourself. Figure out what makes you tick, what makes you anxious, what makes you depressed, what makes you happy. Or reach out to someone who can help you….There are very few constants in life. But for now, just know that come Monday’s and Friday’s, you’ll have something to wake up to (that’s VERY ethnocentric).
I’ll holla.