Anything for Fam
I heard this quote recently or maybe I read it. Truth be told, my memory has seen better days so when something sticks it’s found fertile ground in a desert. “Find the blessings in the curses, and be aware of the curses in the blessings...” It resonated with me - but how do I exactly, “find,” and, “be aware?” It sounds like something out of a Lord of the Rings book written by Brene Brown...soooo right up my alley. I thought about it for several days but hadn’t really found confidence in how I could really embody it.
Daily news reports covering the latest disregard for black bodies, Covid policies, and general humanity I’m sure had a hand in preparing the soil of my soul for the planting of this quote. But there was something so familiar about it - like the seeds were already there. The words are simple, the message is clear, and the concept is far from revolutionary, but these roots plunged deeply. They left me vibing with the action but at a slight loss as to the application...that clarity came later.
After dinner last night I sat with my in-laws engaged in conversation sparked by three sequential questions posed to each person at the table: what is the best thing, worst thing, and something you’ve learned this week? A great ice breaker or convo starter that I adopted into my arsenal immediately after my first experience, led by he who was known as S Dot at the time. However, what I failed to grasp is the power cloaked within this exercise of reflection. As I retreated to the bedroom where I stared at the same ceiling my wife must have countless times in her youth with a full stomach and active mind turning over the dinner conversation along with this new phrase, I began to grasp.
Identifying blessings and uncovering curses is a skill. In The Alchemist, Paulo Coelho writes about a, “universal language, understood by everyone but already forgotten,” and a young boy’s journey to relearn it on his way to achieving his life’s mission. Through dreams and signs that occurred amidst his daily interactions the universal language occurred around the boy, but it took years of reflection, practice, and lessons learned for him to finally understand. Reflection, practice, and lessons learned is exactly the work that I also need to do to build the skill of identifying blessings and uncovering curses in my life. Through consistent reflection of my emotions in relation to the moments and interactions that fill my days, I too can begin to understand the universal language. What I originally used as a simple ice breaker I now see as the fertilizer to feed this budding seed within me - the ability to understand and identify blessings and curses.
So. Like me. Tonight, I encourage you to reflect on your own day, circumstances, and interactions and ask yourself the same three questions that man named S Dot introduced to me years ago: what is the best thing, worst thing, and something you learned today? And if you really want to strengthen this skill, take a step outside of yourself and ask someone else those same questions...and listen.
[Written :: 2020.07.05]