Comparison Cripples Your Calling

To say that Sean is someone that is special to me is an understatement. Sean has been a confidant, and source of light and positive energy in my life for the past eight years, almost immediately after we met at my brother’s graduation at Amherst dancing to Call Me Maybe. My brother proceeded to tell me to never lose his number. I haven’t, YET! Might I add that he has been a light source mostly from a distance, a testimony to the power of his character. So, when he asked his MML readers to share a blog post, I felt compelled to give back and support someone who has given so much to me.

Let me first say that we were “given this assignment” to write a blog entry with less than a week deadline to submit. I don’t know about y’all, but that’s just not enough time for me, especially for someone who used to sit and cry in college at the thought of having to write a paper versus taking an organic chemistry test. Writing, specifically creative writing, has never been my forte. I texted Sean that I wasn’t going to be able to get him anything on time, because as with most things in my life in this season, I did not know where to start or which direction to go.

So again tonight, I’m revisiting the MML for some motivation and reading the blogs already posted on the website. My first reaction – I’m immediately intimidated. I’m not lifted up by this MML (opposite of the underlying intent of this production). Sean is eloquent and charismatic, especially with his words, but I swear (sorry Jesus) that all of his friends are too. Clearly, surrounding himself with the right people and iron sharpening iron. While I’m reading these posts, I’m thinking that anything I write will “not be good enough.” Now, that is a lie that I’ve told myself for years and is the source of issues in many aspects and relationships in my life, creating a web of personal destruction. That lie is my “spider”, (I’ll save that for another blog post, read Kill the Spider by Carlos Whittaker).

And with that long, convoluted story, this is how I arose at what I wanted to write about...something that I heard at a sermon a while back and want someone else to hear now: COMPARISION CRIPPLES YOUR CALLING. Again, comparison cripples your calling. Synonyms for cripple: disable, paralyze, immobilize, debilitate, handicap, impair, damage, injure. My body hurts just reading those words. Somewhere along the line, somebody taught you that certain actions can physically cripple you, so you avoid doing those things, right? You do what you can to prevent any sort of physical damage. In football, it’s instinctive for a player to drop his head at contact, but players are taught how to properly tackle, and practice tackling with shoulder contact with their head up. Education and practice are key to maintaining strength and health.

So, if I once heard that comparison cripples my calling, why do I continue to compare and repeat actions that spiritually, mentally, and emotionally cripple me? Imagine if there were physical, visible consequences to these actions. What would you do then – don’t you think you’d stop? This assignment was supposed to be fun, not crippling. With that said, where do we find the answers about what we need to know to eliminate bringing self-harm to our calling, and how do we practice that like a tackle in football? For me, it’s the Bible. I can seek the answers and know God’s Truth.

Now this part I was struggling again with finding the right words to say, but God always comes through! It’s now morning, and each morning I get a LONG devotional from my friend Jinnie. Do yourself a favor and find yourself a Jinnie. Here is a snip from what she sent me this morning, “When you focus on what you lack [comparing], it inspires despair in your heart. You obsess over your own limitations, which reinforces the bondage within you. Remember, you sin when you try to meet your needs in your own way rather than the Lord’s. So, as you fixate on what you don’t have [comparing, coveting], you enslave yourself more to the sin nature, which eventually leads to destruction (Rom 6:23). It’s a disheartening and vicious cycle. But when you single-mindedly set your sights on God, you realize the incredible strength, wisdom, and power that are being employed on your behalf. You have confidence because the Lord knows and provides what’s absolutely best for you. And because He’s unaffected by the obstacles that limit and intimidate you, your reasons to fear disappear (Isaiah 41:10).”

You might be thinking, Amy, how does this passage relate? When I read that, I am reminded that fixating on my own limitations is destructive, but more importantly that I am a CHOSEN child of God, made beautiful in His image, and with perfect timing. God provides what is best for ME! It doesn’t say God provides what is best for you and that will look exactly the same as your neighbor. No, God has a plan for you, and you specifically. Do you find yourself asking “Why can’t I have what he has, Lord? Don’t you love me enough?” The answer is that He loves you MORE. He loves you so much that He doesn’t want me to have what you have. He doesn’t want you to covet and take on someone else’s thoughts and identities. That was made perfectly for someone else. His love for you is so profound, it’s patient, it’s kind, it’s always present and it’s better, it’s healing, it’s restoring, and there’s nothing greater (listen to Lean Back by Maverick City Music). I have my own gift and am working each day toward what I can do, constantly evolving into what God has called me to do and doing it for His glory. It may look different from others, and may be on a slower timeline, but that’s okay - it is still beautiful. I’m going to take my own reality and make it beautiful.

So, recognize and be aware of when you’re allowing comparison to cripple your calling, that’s the first step. Then deliberately practice changing your mindset and reading the Truth (maybe get off Instagram, too), make it a habit, and repeat. You are good enough. And even as I’m closing, I still don’t think I’ve done a good enough job connecting all the dots and my thoughts, but there I go again. What did I just say? You are good enough. So, I’ll close with this:

Remember, You are called to do SOMETHING to reach SOMEBODY. See how it doesn’t say that you are called to do EVERYTHING for EVERYONE. You aren’t called to do what EVERYBODY else is doing. Don’t know your calling? That’s okay too. God does. So, I’ll still bless him when I’m in the middle of the road and I don’t know which way to go.

Thank you to all that have contributed thus far on the blog. I love reading your quotes, your stories, and getting to know more about each of you from afar. So, if you wanna talk comparison with me, tell me more about the best wine, food, travel locations, art, books, music, and sports. Not up for debate: Mike Trout is the GOAT! Go Halos!

[Written :: 2020.07.23]