Send More Good Podcasts
“You can’t buy wisdom. You have to earn it. A conversation, tweet, or book isn’t going to make you smarter. What makes you smarter is the lonely work of chewing on it, digesting it, and making it yours.” ~Shane Parrish
I’m sitting here listening to Allen Stone, it’s Sunday morning, and my thoughts are percolating. I had a call with my friend Michelle G. on Friday—she brought up mentorship. My friends often clown on me because of all the “mentors” I have. Yet, I’ve always felt that the sum of the parts is greater than the individual, and that’s how I feel about my mentors.
I’ve been blessed to have so many wise, thoughtful, and caring people pour into me over the years. I also know that growing up without a father fueled me with a hunger to help fill the void of a present male figure. To be clear, as I’ve matured, I realize that we all have our own demons; I’d like to believe my pops did the best he could with what he had. Nonetheless, I felt shame, regret, and uncertainty about my dad’s absence, but the gift was the knowledge that I could become my fullest, best self if I learned to live from that place of absence. Because he didn’t show me love, I go out of my way to love others, even if that simply means giving someone a hug, making someone smile, or providing a listening ear. Given that he didn’t finish high school, I continue to further my education, coupling my experiential knowledge with foundational knowledge learned in the classroom, or these days on LinkedIn Learning (looking at you Vet). I have tried to turn the “weakness” of not having a father into a strength, as connecting with people is one of my most cherished desires. I digress...
Michelle laughed as one of her coworkers made the point that some of his best mentors don’t even know that they’re his mentor! I love that thought. I’d heard that sentiment before from John Maxwell and others, and I believe it to be true. Having mentors is so valuable because coupling their wisdom, experience, and questions with all the information that I’ve already collected allows me to better distill all the content. They also hold me accountable. So, when my friend Dan texted me on Saturday, “send me more good podcasts pls,” I smiled.
Tangent—Podcasts are cheat codes. They’re akin to seeing into the future (or the past), gaining insight and an added perspective. And while I definitely struggle with confirmation bias at times, podcasts provide access to people that I wouldn’t otherwise meet, or in some cases, stoke the fire for people that I need to meet...Nonetheless, I quickly sent Dan some of my favorites: How I Built This, The Knowledge Project, and Invest Like the Best. I didn’t send him any Unlocking Us or Elevation (church) yet, those will come later.
Dan is a year older than me. He’s been a “mentor” and friend for years. I don’t always voice it, but I’ve long looked up to him. He’s a good dude, with a solid moral compass, a genuine work ethic, and a much calmer demeanor than me. He’s long been a sounding board and while our paths diverged for a couple years, I think back to Largey’s blog post Not Gone and my not being ready to, “lose that speck,” reaching out to Dan to, “reminisce about those joys and memories we so fondly remember.”
That’s why I smiled when he wanted more podcasts. On Thursday, I sent him the latest Knowledge Project episode with Derek Sivers: Innovation Versus Imitation. In the episode, Sivers mentions James Clear’s masterful book, Atomic Habits. That reminded me of Dan as he sent me that book months ago—I still aint read it. But after our recent exchanges, I thought, “Wow.” He recently had his first child, Landon. That’s when it hit me. My big bro, friend, mentor, financial advisor, just had a kid...WHAT?!
Let me take you back...2005: my junior year in high school, my first year as starting quarterback and Dan was my favorite receiver. First game of the year on the Hilltop, we played Cardinal Spellman. That pregame warm-up tho...I was tasked with making our pregame mix (that goes without saying)—I think it was on a cd! Their running back was a problem. I remember late in the fourth quarter we were losing, and it was a critical juncture in the game. I threw a touchdown pass to a diving Dan in the back of the endzone. Damn, that felt good. But all the joy quickly dissipated when Coach Negron crushed us post-game about the pre-game music that blared through the speakers, a cocktail of: Jadakiss, Biggie, P Diddy, Busta Rhymes, Roy Jones Jr., Fabolous, and Lil Wayne to name a few. All unedited. That’s my bad.
Now over fifteen years later, Dan has a beautiful wife, a house in strong island, and a son. Over the years, whether it was a ride to or from practice, a text here, a call there, or a facetime, we’ve grown separately, but together. And while the conversations used to be, “Yo, you rockin’ the (Jordan) 11’s in the game tomorrow,” now the discussions are different, “Can you shift my asset allocation?” Yet, what buttresses these interactions are the years of work, as well as the real heart-to-hearts about intimate issues, like money, loss, and relationships.
This all crystallized last night when Jay D tagged me in a Complex IG post about a J. Cole tweet that reads: “Yo I got 502 Followers! Probably not a lot for most of these other rappers, but I am thankful for each person who hit that Follow.” [2:37 PM* April 3, 2009]. I quoted J. Cole a bunch in the MML on Friday (7/24), but with his 13.6M Twitter followers and 5.3M Insta followers, it’s obvious Cole’s hard work paid off. Yet, I hope many take the time to understand the work that’s been involved; the same work needed to build solid friendships, relationships, or careers. And one cheat code, or life hack, that enables the work to be deeper, somewhat more targeted, or meaningful, is having mentors, just like Dan.
I’ll holla.
P.S. Rob Hill Sr., Shane Parrish, David Perell, and Naval Ravikant are a few of my mentors that don’t know they’re my mentors. And since we’re on the topic, two pieces of advice from mentors that I actually know: “Be comfortable being uncomfortable.” ~Mike B and “Lead like the cross.... up, down, left, right.” ~John W. I can’t wait to write about these men one day...but for now, it’s back to the, “lonely work of chewing on it, digesting it, and making it [mine].”
[Written :: 2020.07.26]